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Movie Reviews 2008

COMING SOON TO THEATRES - Picks of the Month in BOLD
July - Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, The Dark Knight, Mamma Mia!, The X-Files 2
August - The Mummy: Curse of the Dragon Emperor, Babylon A.D., Bangkok Dangerous
September - Clive Barker Presents: Hellraiser, Punisher: War Zone, Deathrace, Righteous Kill
October - Where the Wild Things Are, Valkyrie, Scanners, Saw 5, Quarantine
November - Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, Bond 22, Madagascar 2
December - The Day the Earth Stood Still
2009 - Star Trek
January -
February - Friday the 13th

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2008 Film Reviews

The Happening *

The Incredible Hulk * * * 1/2

Indiana Jones and the
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull * *

Iron Man * * * 1/2

The Love Guru *

COMING SOON TO DVD (Picks of the Month are in Bold)
June - 10,000 B.C., In Bruges, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Definitely Maybe
July - Vantage Point, Drillbit Taylor, Stargate: Atlantis Season 4, The Ruins, The Bank Job, 21,
Stargate: Continuum, Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, Doomsday, War
Games: The Dead Code
August - Star Trek (TOS): Season 2 (Remastered Edition), The Secret, Terminator: The Sarah
Connor Chronicles, The Scorpion King 2
September - Smallville: Season 7
October - Sleeping Beauty (SE), Tinkerbell, Lost: Season 4
November -
December -

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Trevor Goddard Jonathan Brandis Paul Winfield Richard Biggs Christopher Reeve Frank Gorshin James Doohan Brock Peters
6/7/03 11/19/03 3/7/04 5/22/04 10/10/04 5/17/05 7/20/05 8/23/05

Gene Roddenberry Mark Lenard DeForest Kelley John Colicos Sir Alec Guiness Curtis Keene Richard Harris James Coburn Robert Stack
10/24/91 11/22/96 6/11/99 3/6/00 8/5/00 10/13/02 10/25/02 11/18/02 5/14/03

In Memoriam

The Love Guru * - Starring Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Stephen
Colbert, and Vern Troyer. Myers stars as the Guru Pitka, who spends
the entire movie making jokes that were only funny the first time. The
jokes gets old pretty quick and you find yourself in a comedic stupor
with nowhere to go. Itâ€™s Myerâ€™s one-liners directed towards
Vern Troyerâ€™s character that are really the only funny moments.
   Jessica Alba should be ashamed of herself to be in such an awful
movie. The tunes actually are pretty catchy and the harmony works for
me. I liked the musical sections, but that was about it. I found myself
bored and waiting for a really funny moment to occur. Sadly they few
and far between.
   I can see where the film was supposed to be funny, but either it had
been done before, or it just really didnâ€™t seem to work. When Pitka
encounters the attack rooster, for example...it just wasnâ€™t funny.
Sorry Mike. Even Stephen Colbertâ€™s part as NHL announcer Jay
Kell couldnâ€™t save the film and bring more comedy.
   Mike Myers should stick with what works and make another Austin
Powers movie. Those made money and were actually funny, but heâ
€™s still going to have to come up with some new material in order to
sell the audience. Iâ€™d check this one out only if you donâ€™t have to
pay for it. Oh and by the way, film veteran Ben Kingsley co-stars in this
as a cross-eyed Guru master. Remember my friends, Mariska Hargitay!

The Happening * - Starring Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, and
John Leguizamo. M. Night Shyamalanâ€™s first R-rated film had lots of
potential. But sadly, the film does not deliver and leads to a big
disappointment.
The film opens well as the first few minutes show multiple people
jumping off buildings and shooting themselves, giving the audience a
shock right off the bat. Mark Walhberg is a science teacher at a
Philadelphia high school, who gets the message that â€œsomething
is happening.â€�
   Wahlbergâ€™s performance is mediocre at best, and co-star Zooey
Deschanelâ€™s performance as his estranged wife Alma is horrible.
The only decent performance comes from John Leguizamo as Elliotâ
€™s good friend, but he only lasts through the first half an hour or so.
As the film went on, I found myself constantly looking at my watch,
waiting for the time to go by as the film is slows down in the middle.
   Like most of Shyamalanâ€™s films (Signs, The Village, The Sixth
Sense), there is always a supernatural/horror element to the film that
throws the audience for a loop. Usually this happens at the filmâ€™s
climax, however in The Happening, we discover what is â
€œhappeningâ€� quite early on. For some reason, mother nature has
selected the northeast area of the U.S. to run a science experiment.
Plants, trees, and bushes are communicating with each other via wind
currents and infecting peopleâ€™s brains, causing them to commit
suicide.
   The story would have been better if it was a virus that was
accidentally unleashed by some government agency or something, or
even some alien contagion. The fact that the plants are angry with
humans for not being nice to them over the years is just completely
stupid, and why the hell would it make you kill yourself? At one point,
Elliot and Alma are running from the wind to escape this â
€œhappeningâ€� and manage to evade it. Since when can the wind
not penetrate walls and doors? This was a lame movie. See this one if
you have free passes, or wait for it to come on a free cable channel.!

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull * * -
Starring Harrison Ford, Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett, Ray Winstone,
and Karen Allen. Despite getting the fifth best opening figures of all
time (behind Spider-Man 3, Revenge of the Sith, Spider-Man 3, Dead
Man's Chest) the most highly anticipated film of 2008 doesn't deliver in
all the ways that it should.
   The film gets off to a very slow start as Dr. Jones finds himself in the
same warehouse in which the Ark of the Covenant was stored at the
end of the first film. He's kidnapped by the Russians and forced to find
a crate that contains the remains of an alien discovered at Area 51.
After his escape, he must outwit an atomic explosion and get back to
civilization.
   Now, this is where it gets confusing. Indiana Jones is referred to as
Colonel Jones, and suddenly he knows about operatives of MI6 and is
working for the Army and under investigation by the FBI. He says that
he's a veteran of the war and he's long time friends with this important
general. When did all this happen? What war? Indy was prominent as
a civilian at the heart of WWII during The Last Crusade and there was
no mention of any type of military service. It seems like we've missed
an entire chapter of Jones' life and we're just supposed to accept it and
move on. It seems more like he's James Bond instead of Indiana
Jones.
   Later, we learn the fate of Dr. Henry Jones, Sr. (Sean Connery) and
Marcus Brody, as Indy is dragged into a new adventure to find a lost
crystal skull (which isn't even made of crystal) in South America. Now
once we get to South America, the story and film picks up and is good.
But it takes a long time to get there. There is no evil force that Indy has
to face, it's merely the constant evasion of the Russians (led by
Blanchett) on his quest to return the skull to its rightful place. Speilberg
and Lucas are obviously planning to hand the franchise over the
LeBeouf, as another trilogy is already in the works.

Isaac Hayes Don S. Davis Andreas Katsulas Jane Wyatt
8/10/08 6/29/08 2/13/06 10/20/06

July 11 July 18 August 1

August 15 August 22 November 8

May 8, 2009